Dark Side of the Moon
by Wolfheart91210
Summary: This...is my story. The story of how I died, and how I was condemned. Condemned to where exactly? Ha, well, that is the question isn't it? Because I don't know where I am, or why I was put here. I just know that I have to survive this place. This...is where the battle for my soul begins.
1. Prologue

Hello, everyone, and welcome to Dark Side of the Moon! This is another story that is a part of the Clans of the Valley world, so you might see some familiar faces! This story though is a lot different than Curse or any other story I will post on here simply for the reason that the main character is…well…dead. I hope you enjoy!

_** \- Wolfy**_

All characters belong to me. The Warrior Cat series belong to the genius Erin Hunter.

* * *

**Prologue**

Death.

Such a small, simple word…

Five letters; one meaning.

A meaning that has come to define me.

I don't breathe.

I don't move.

I don't drink.

I don't eat.

I don't do any of these things, because I no longer have to.

I don't have to, because I'm dead.

**. . .**

It was a beautiful day; more so than it had been in a long time.

The air was crisp and clear, the graveled ground cold and soft, the spring grasses sprouting up in exotic hues of evergreen. The sky opened up and teased me with a light mist of spring rain. The quaking aspens cried out in joy as their bright green leaves caught the little drops of moisture, their light grey and white trunks gleaming with dew drops.

The sun was directly overhead, peeking out of a puffy white cloud as I traveled along the grainy path followed by my sister, Icefeather.

My sister was a small, dainty thing. Her fur was a pure frosty white, her coat whisking off her lean, streamlined body gracefully like the clouds above our heads. Her eyes were large like moons, colored an icy blue, and always watchful and curious of her surroundings. Her face was innocent and heart-shaped, matching her compassionate and kind nature, though she can turn as fearsome as a mother bear when it comes to her own family.

"Quite lovely out here, isn't it?" She purred; her soft voice easily recognizable with its shy tones.

"Yes, it is," I agreed, not truly feeling her joy and happiness on this seemingly light filled day.

"Is something the matter, Spottedmoon? You've been awfully gloomy today," she commented, gently nuzzling my silvery fur with her bright pink nose.

I didn't answer her until we came upon a fast flowing stream that had bored its way between a few large brown colored boulders. The soil here was dark and rich, coated with moss and ground-hugging plants.

Thoughts and emotions swirled through my head as I gazed at this miniature oasis.

"Spottedmoon?"

I sighed, sitting on my haunches and letting my tail-tip flop in the cool stream. "You know what day it is, Icefeather," I murmured, my eyes locked on the little green and silver fish struggling to leap upstream.

I heard my sister take an inward breath as realization hit her.

"Oh…I'm so sorry. I can't believe I forgot-"

"Don't worry. It's been three seasons. I wouldn't expect anyone to remember," I growled bitterly, a thick, black hole opening up in my gut filled with regret and anger.

Icefeather came up to crouch at my side, her soft pelt brushing mine. "Spottedmoon…you have to stop blaming yourself for Snowkit. What happened was out of your control. You couldn't have known she would react that way when you told her about her father."

I shut my eyes tightly, trying to block out the despair gnawing at my insides.

_Snowkit, my daughter… I'm so sorry…_

"You have to accept that she ran away; that she is gone. You still have Frozengrace, and your clan needs you more than ever. With you becoming leader-"

"I _know_, Icefeather! Trust me. I am very well aware that others depend on me to be strong, to be brave, to guide them when times are dark…but who will guide me?" I murmured, my voice straining with sorrow and loneliness.

I never imagined myself as becoming leader of GlacierClan, it had always seemed like my sister would be the one to take that role. But now with our leader, Talonstar, dead, and me left as the deputy, it was my turn to take his place.

"Icefeather…would you mind if I just…continued on here, without you? I would like to be alone for a while."

Icefeather looked at me with her solemn icy blue eyes, her long feathery tail drooping slightly, but understanding was clear in her gaze. "Of course."

As she turned to go away, I felt a weird aching emotion in my chest and I called out to her. "I love you, Icefeather!"

She turned to look over her shoulder at me and smiled. "I love you too, Spottedmoon. I'll be at camp when you return!" She then spun back around and bounded off, her white form fading into the aspens.

I turned and slowly walked up to the edge of the stream and leaped, landing on the other side with ease. I purred quietly to myself as I padded on under the tall shadows of the pale forest.

I would never be crossing that stream again.

**. . .**

"Today we gather for the judgment of Spottedmoon. Daughter of the kitty-pet named Cheza…father is unknown. She is sister to Icefeather, mate to the outlaw Crow, and mother to Frozengrace and Snowkit…whose whereabouts are still unknown."

I glared up at the celestial beings of StarClan as they listed off the names of my immediate kin, their pelts glimmering with countless stars, their appearances timeless and youthful. Seven cats sat atop a glittering white stone that glowed in the endless space around us while other cats of StarClan surrounded the stone on the ground, watching me with slightly curious eyes.

I was sitting on my own white stone facing them, the rock bitterly cold against my rough pads. Surrounding me was a dark pine forest that blocked out the sky and all light from it. The ground was littered with decaying pine needles and shoots of wild flowers and strange glowing mushrooms.

"We will now begin your final trial. If you pass, Spottedmoon, then you will be permitted entry into StarClan's hunting grounds. If you do not meet the requirements, if we have found that you have been tainted by greed, envy, pride, bloodlust…"

The cat that was still speaking was a tall, broad-shouldered silver tom with darker tinted ear-tips, a long pelt, and light green eyes. His muzzle was regal-looking with a strong jaw and handsome features. For some reason he seemed familiar to me…

"…how does the council plead?"

I realized that I had wandered off in my own thoughts, and I was suddenly brought back to the eerie clearing, apprehensively awaiting their verdict.

One of the cats sitting on the rock stood and paced forward, her large owl-like yellow eyes looking down at me. She was a pitch black she-cat, her body well-muscled and lean.

"You have suffered great loss when it comes to love. I feel that your actions in response to those tragedies were fair and should be ignored. I, Nightwalker, permit you entry into StarClan."

A happy murmur went through the spectators, but I didn't allow myself such pleasure. There were still six more cats to go.

Another cat, a rather plump tom with black and white patches, came to stand where the black she-cat had been.

"In your life you hardly ever showed greed or gluttony. In the times that you did it was for the good of GlacierClan, or for your own kin. I, Troutleap, permit you entry into StarClan."

The next cat forward was a stunning she-cat. Stunning in the way she walked, in the way she held herself, and how ancient she appeared. Her body was so thin that you could see a faint outline of the tree's behind her, her ghostly long white fur billowing around her like a halo.

"Your pride was strong, and so was your hunger. You longed to be respected and loved by your clan mates, even when you didn't realize it yourself. You were a natural leader of your clan, and you were a strong symbol of hope when times were dark. Yet, it was this hunger and pride that nearly destroyed all the hard work you had put forth. What say you, Spottedmoon?"

My mouth gaped like a fish. I was stunned that this majestic apparition was giving me a chance to explain my actions.

"I-I know that some of the things I did…were questionable…but I swear on the life of my kits that the choices I made were always untainted by selfishness. I never once thought of just myself in my times of foolish pride." I rasped, my voice weak from being silent for so long.

_Time passes by differently after you die…hours become days…moons become seasons…_

The regal ghost-like she-cat nodded, her pale blue eyes glinting with satisfaction.

"Then I, Miststar, permit you entry into StarClan."

Yowls of approval went up on the ground, and I couldn't help but sigh in relief; my thoughts now traveling to a happier place.

_I don't care that they don't know where you are Snowkit. I will find you, whether you're in StarClan or back home. I will find you._

The cat that followed Miststar was a huge brute of a tom. He was a muscular dark brown tabby with long powerful claws and a wicked scar across his nose.

_Why did he have a scar? I thought all that stuff went away when you died?_

The fearsome tom stepped up to the edge of the glowing white rock, his long black claws curling over the edge like an eagle's would on a branch of a tree.

"Among the many cats that I watch over, you, Spottedmoon, have shown that you are capable of bloodlust. Your emotions would rage out of control, and in times where logic would have been the right tool to use, you instead chose to use bear instinct. If not for your kin, and your clan, you would have drowned in a river of blood…"

I flinched, guilt and disgust at myself weighing heavily in my chest.

"But…as your death was so…_unusual_… and unexpected, we have decided to-"

Suddenly, the temperature dropped, my breath coming out of my muzzle in moist, white clouds. The cats of StarClan looked around in alarm, but the seven isolated on their glowing boulder looked deathly calm, the only sign of the disturbance being their bristling pelts and un-sheathed claws.

A low, chilling chuckle eerily echoed out from the trees, sending warning signals up and down my spine screaming _danger_.

Stalking out of the shadows approached a group of frightening looking cats who all acquired the same disdainful glint in their eyes; their gazes directed at the StarClan cats. Their pelts were covered in scars both new and old, and their appearances didn't reflect any celestial beauty, just death and darkness.

The cat who had laughed was monstrous. It looked almost as if every muscle in his body had been over-stuffed, his shoulders as wide as my two of my skulls, his paw easily the size of my whole chest cavity. His fur was so dark that the only thing you could see was his eyes, one of them a big black hole where an eye-ball should have been, and the other a dark amber; almost crimson.

"No, no! This just won't do…its time StarClan stops saving corrupted cats from their fates. That one belongs to the Dark Forest!" He growled menacingly, revealing chipped and broken fangs.

I stared wide eyed at the entourage of Dark Forest cats, my heart beat racing, yet my claws flexed against the glittering white stone and I could feel that familiar urge to leap in head first, ask questions later. A bright red color began to fill my vision as I felt my fate challenged.

The speaker turned his crimson eye to me, his snarling demeanor turning into a knowing grin. "See? Am I not the only one who can sense her eagerness to rip into my throat? She is a killer that one. For StarClan to ignore all that she is done solely based on a mysterious death…my, my…it must be getting quite empty up there," he purred sardonically, fixing his eye back on the StarClan cats.

Miststar stepped forward, the outline of her pale fur blurring and shifting in the invisible wind around her. Her eyes were like fierce blizzards, piercing icy shards directed at the Dark Forest cats.

"You break ancient laws by coming here, Fang. Leave now before we banish you from this place by force," she growled, her voice cold and merciless.

Fang hissed and dug his long cracked claws into the pine needle dirt. "_Please_ do, Miststar. I've been _dying_ to rip into some StarClan pelts!"

The original speaker, the silver tom, then leaped to the ground, his gaze un-readable. As he approached, for some odd reason, the Dark Forest cats hissed and snarled, backing up slowly as he approached the center of the two warring sides where I sat on my solitary stone. They treated him like he was some walking disease, their pelts bristling, heads turned away or down at their paws, their tails crooked or tucked between their legs.

He stopped in front of my stone, giving me a heavy stare through those bright green eyes, his regal features stone-like and cold.

We held gazes for what seemed like an eternity before he turned, facing the StarClan cats.

"I, Nathaniel, do not permit Spottedmoon into StarClan. She has disgraced our ways of honor and has broken the code on multiple accounts. Yet, as her _murder_ was cruel, and in violation of our bordering compromise with the Dark Forest, I believe she should be given a chance in purgatory."

Horrified hisses spread throughout the clearing, even a few of the dark forest cats cowered to the ground at the name _purgatory_.

"But that place is even worse than the Dark Forest! Why should we have to send her there?" Nightwalker cried from atop the larger white boulder.

Nathaniel growled. "We do not let those with tainted souls into our hunting grounds, Nightwalker! If Spottedmoon is truly as innocent as she says, then she will survive purgatory and then be worthy of entry into StarClan."

The space around me seemed to spin then, my vision blurring, and my limbs becoming weak. I crumbled onto my stomach as my legs could no longer hold my weight, gasping as a heavy weight pressed down on my body.

"I now take your spirit, and the facets of your soul. They shall be scattered across the realm known as purgatory, where you must retrieve them and purify them. If you survive, you may return to the homeland of your ancestors in StarClan, or else suffer forever in the endless abyss. Farewell, Spottedmoon. May StarClan light your path…"

Then, my body disintegrated into the air, my body forced apart by the immense pressure. I felt weightless, unbound by anything, until I was sucked down into the earth at the paws of my spectators.

Death.

I wish it were that simple.


	2. Chapter 1 - Purgatory

Hello again! Here is chapter 1 of DSOTM. I hope you all will get a good sense of this new Realm called the "Between World", also known as Purgatory. Sometime soon down the road I will be posting information on all the Realms that the Clans of the Valley believe in. There are seven Realms, including StarClan and the Dark forest. I'm sure you could name a few by now if you have read Curse. :'P

A quick note: For Spottedmoon to retrieve the pieces of her soul, she will have to go through physical, mental, and emotional "battles". So don't be confused when I say battle and Spottedmoon is just watching a memory flash by instead of attacking something.

Anyways, read, review…and most of all…please enjoy!

OH, did I also mention you get to meet a new character named Hadiya? Hehe. She is VERY important. You might see her in other stories…

There is also a hint to an upcoming story in this chapter.

CLUES EVERYWHERE. o.o'

**_-Wolfy_**

Credit to me for everything besides the Warrior Cats elements which belong to Erin Hunter.

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Purgatory**

I had never heard much about purgatory in GlacierClan. Purgatory wasn't even the word we used; in our tongue, it was called the Between World, the dark void between StarClan's hunting grounds and the Dark forest. Elders told stories of the Between World as a way of scaring the young ones into staying out of trouble and to teach the warriors that you can always fight darkness so long as you follow the code.

I just never thought that those stories might actually be true.

It seemed like only a couple of heart beats had passed before I felt myself reforming on solid ground…well, if you can call a writhing mass of snakes "ground".

I gasped once I gained back control of my body, slipping and sliding over the smooth, black scaly bodies entangled on the ground as I scrambled over them. Panic was rampant inside me as I could find no end to the hissing earth of serpents. My claws couldn't even penetrate their hides.

Then they began to coil around my legs, pulling me down into their pile of scales and venom. They spat and bit each other, fighting over whom got to drag me down to my death.

_No! I can't die again! I just got here!_

Desperation made me screech out for help, one of my claws getting yanked out of its socket as I tried to fight back. The snakes only curled themselves tighter around me, and now I was sinking faster.

That was when a bright flash erupted in the void, lighting up the darkness around me and making all the serpents pause and stare; thin black sails expanding out of the sides of their heads to make them appear even larger and more frightening.

Then the light collapsed in on itself, and exploded.

I shut my eyes against the blast, forcing my body down to keep from being blown off my paws. I felt the snakes that had constricted themselves around my legs disintegrate along with the ones still writhing below my paws.

Once it was over, the snakes were all gone; the only thing left of them was their fangs which were scattered across the rocky ground.

_Wait…rocks!_

I looked around excitedly, holding my breath as the darkness cleared and a large aspen forest became visible before my eyes. Mist hung heavily in the canopy, but the sound of bird song and the smell of plant life made me purr with relief.

Exhausted already from my journey to purgatory, I began to scurry across the barren rocks toward the forest, forgetting all about the exploding light that had freed me from the darkness.

"I wouldn't go into the Forest of Dreams if I were you."

I whipped around, claws out, fangs bared, ready to defend myself at any cost. I was not about to be stopped by anyone or anything, but the appearance of the feline before me made me freeze, my limbs becoming as heavy as the stones beneath my paws.

Large crimson orbs stared down at me from a graceful triangular muzzle split down the middle with black fur on the right side and white fur on the left side. The white and black fur seemed to dance along the border, some white protruding into the black side and some black leaking into the white. They were like swirls, but swirls that were actively moving on her long wisp-like fur.

One of her tall pointed ears twitched, her head tilting to the right as she observed me, her expression unreadable through those blood red eyes.

"Wh-who are you?" I stammered, shocked to find this bizarre she-cat in purgatory of all places.

"I am known by many names, but in this case you shall call me Hadiya. I am the guardian of purgatory, and I will be your guide."

I shivered slightly, something tugging in the very corner of my thoughts and memories. For some reason I felt like I knew this she-cat, just like I had felt that I had known Nathaniel.

I looked over my shoulder then to look back at the aspen forest, or the forest of dreams as Hadiya had called it. I longed to go there, probably more than was normal, but I didn't seem to notice as I was crying out to have familiar trees over my head.

Her large crimson eyes remained still and un-blinking as she watched me come to terms with my surroundings; the only thing that moved was her tail-tip which flicked back and forth at a steady pace.

"So, shall we begin?"

I turned back around to face her, my gut churning with nervousness and fear. "Begin what?"

"The battle."

"B-battle? Hey, look…uh, Hadiya…no one told me anything about a battle!"

But she was already turning and walking away, her swirling form easily bounding over the rocky terrain.

"Hey, wait up!"

She didn't slow her pace as we crossed over the rocky plateau, another forest becoming visible in the darkness. This one wasn't an aspen forest, instead it was an oak wood forest, the leaves all brown and withered as if they were in a state of permanent leaf-fall.

_Are there seasons in purgatory?_ I wondered, keeping close to my strange guide as she trekked undeterred into the thick undergrowth.

"Um…you mind telling me where were going?"

Once again she did not answer, but only a few short moments passed before she suddenly halted and turned to face me, her expression emotionless. "You are here to prove yourself worthy of your ancestor's hunting grounds, are you not?"

I paused, my voice hoarse and scratchy. "Well…yes-"

"Then we must start where it all began for you," she meowed simply, flicking her tail out in front of her to indicate the oak wood forest.

"Where it all began? What do you mean?"

"All things begin at the moment of creation, Spottedmoon. Here, under the shadows of unfamiliar trees, is where two souls became one; that one soul being yours."

Silenced, I looked at where Hadiya was pointing, my eyes wide as the scene began to shift before me.

The leaves began to grow green on the sturdy wooden branches of the oaks; bird song returned to the canopy, a summer sun peaked through the crowns of the oaks in pools of warmth on the ground, and the sound of a trickling stream gurgled nearby. It was the perfect summer scene.

And that was when I saw two shapes come crashing through the undergrowth, their laughs like bells ringing in the air, their paws thumping on the soft green grass as they ran through the pools of yellow light, chasing each other to their hearts content.

"Hadiya, why are you showing me this?"

"This is the first battle you must win; the battle of pre-destiny. In our moments of creation, our souls are given a direct path that we are destined to follow based on the actions of our creators. You must understand the destiny meant for you if you are ever to reclaim your spirit."

I nodded, my gaze still locked on the felines now rolling around in the grass, playfully batting at each other and purring loudly in delight.

"Yes, but who are they?"

Hadiya turned her bloodied gaze upon me, emotion flitting across her eyes. "These are your parents, Spottedmoon, Jasmine and Darkestday; a love story that lasted for forty days and forty nights, before it was ripped apart by their destinies."

_My parents…_

I opened my mouth to ask her more, but Hadiya had already vanished.

Now alone, I took a moment to watch my parents run around without a care in the world, their eyes only for each other, their hearts forever bound…

But what happened to them? And how did their choices affect my future?


	3. Chapter 2 - A Forbidden Love

Hello! Here is the long-awaited chapter two of DSOTM. Here you will learn a few more details about Spottedmoon's parents and how she winded up as a GlacierClan cat.

I hope some of you who have read Curse recognize Darkestday…and if you do I would highly recommend reading Chapter 9 of Curse, as you will see a familiar face… (:

Please enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!

Credit goes to Erin Hunter for the Warrior Cats Universe.

**_-Wolfy_**

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**Chapter 2 – A Forbidden Love**

"_Darkestday! Slow down, you're going too fast!"_

_Two cats ran through an oak wood forest, their coats blanketed in leaves and small twigs from the undergrowth they blasted through; their eyes bright and playful and full of life._

_One of the cats slowed to a stop at the others request, his handsome pitch black pelt being highlighted by the sun's rays, showing off the faint tiger stripes on his legs that were only visible in strong light. His stature showed confidence, yet there was humbleness to his gaze, and a deep seated morality in his words._

"_Sorry Jasmine, it's hard to forget that you're not clan…most cats can keep up with me," Darkestday apologized with guilt, his ears slightly flattened but his stark silver eyes glinting with amusement. _

_The other cat, a beautiful stocky silver and white she-cat with darker tabby stripes in rings around her short stumpy tail and slanted icy blue-green eyes, came to a slow walk as she came up beside Darkestday, her triangular shaped head lowered in exhaustion. Her body was a bit stockier than the tom she stood next to, but despite her rugged appearance she put out a compassionate and inquisitive aura that glowed from within her eyes._

"_Well Mr. Clan cat, as a kitty pet I don't get out much…and if I ever do, it's to sniff flowers in the garden and soak up the warm rays of the sun. In fact, that sounds a lot more pleasant than running through the woods like lunatics…I might just go back!" She meowed, her voice thick with sarcasm but her eyes glowing with love and adoration for the tall black tom. _

_Darkestday purred loudly, crouching low and wriggling his haunches playfully. "I think it's time that Mrs. Kitty pet learned another lesson about clan cats," he growled, pouncing onto the she-cat and rolling her onto her back. _

Both cats' laughs rang out like the glorious ringing of bells, their happiness and love as eternal and sturdy as the ground with which they laid upon.

_My parents…_

"You never knew who they were, did you?" Hadiya questioned as I watched the glowing scene before me.

I shook my head, my eyes following the pair. "I was too young to remember being abandoned by the stony creek in the heart of our territory…I was told after my warrior's initiation that I had been found by a hunting patrol without any scent clinging to my fur to identify me. It was almost if I had just materialized before their eyes…but, Hadiya, you know their names…where do they come from?"

Hadiya didn't say a word, instead the oak wood forest slowly faded away to be replaced by familiar, tall pine trees. A bundle of collected thorny brambles, ferns, and other sturdy plant life could be seen in the middle of a thicker cluster of trees; a camp with the scent of MountainClan, a neighboring clan, overpowering everything else around me.

Darkestday, my father, came slowly walking out of the camp entrance, pushing aside the worst of the thorny barrier aside as a heavily pregnant black and white leopard spotted queen followed him through, giving Darkestday a playful swat with her long feathery tail. She then turned to look directly at me, her bright evergreen eyes wary, but hopeful.

Then the scene rapidly changed to a barren rocky landscape, black smoke filling my peripheral vision. I coughed violently, shocked to see tens maybe hundreds of cats fleeing a flaming liquid wall that barreled towards them at unimaginable speeds. Their cries and wails could be heard from the cliff I stood on, and all I could do was watch as they desperately tried to climb the vertical cliff as the lava and soot rolled over them.

A choking sound made me whip around to see Jasmine, my mother, looking much younger and much less joyous. The ends of her blue-silver pelt were singed black; thick blood oozed out of a scar on her forehead and out of the bloody stump that was her tail, and she favored her left leg, her paw at an unnatural angle.

Yet, what was more horrifying was her expression. Her blood shot eyes were wide open, watching the mass die-off of the felines below her. Her jaws were parted open, blood dripping out of the side as she silently wailed, her sides heaving as if she was going to be sick or if she was simply exhausted from running. Her expression was not grief, for in this instance she watched as hundreds of her kin were burned alive. There were too many to grieve for.

I gasped as I was flung back to the oak wood forest, the light gone; replaced by the cold, dark shadows of purgatory.

My legs shook, and I smelled smoke and the burning heat of dead flesh on my face. I collapsed on the stony ground, unable to control my body's reaction.

Hadiya watched silently, her crimson eyes unreadable.

"Your father was a MountainClan cat. He was destined to be their leader, but once he met your mother his path would forever change."

I shook my head again and again, desperate to get rid of the images of soot and fire and the taste of stomach acid on my tongue.

"Your mother was not a clan cat. Her life began in tragedy…and so it ended in tragedy."

I panted, gathering my bearings as I stood, blinking my eyes rapidly. "So…what you're saying is…I am the product of a forbidden love…a forbidden love between two cats who had no respect for the code that I swore to as a warrior!?" I spat, my claws scraping against the stone beneath me as I tried to fight off the shock from the last visual scene on the cliff.

Hadiya tilted her head. "I did not say that. I simply told you where they came from, as you asked," she said simply.

I growled harshly. "They would have been hunted down and killed if MountainClan found out about it. They would have done so in front of all the clans…they would have been used as an example, as a warning to all others who tried to break the code…"

Hadiya nodded, looking away into the shadowed horizon. "Are you angry at them for abandoning the code or for abandoning you?"

I stiffened, my temper running cold as I faced her, watching her strange animated pelt dance between light and dark.

"I don't know…"

"If you do not know then you will not re-claim this part of your soul. A soul must be whole to be able to escape purgatory," she replied with an almost tempting tone in her voice, as if she was trying to coax me into her grasp.

I sighed, thoughts and memories swirling in my head. "I just wish I had gotten to know them is all," I admitted, almost wanting to ask if I could see them running through the oak wood forest one last time.

Hadiya nodded; a slight curve to her lips. "You think that if you had them in your life your upbringing would have been different?"

"Many things would have been different."


	4. Chapter 3 - A Child's Innocence

**Chapter 3 – a child's innocence**

* * *

It's difficult to describe purgatory. You would think it would be like the Dark Forest or StarClan's hunting grounds where you experience the feel of earth under paw and the smell of blooming plant-life around you; at least that was what was told to me in the stories. Nothing about this place felt in the least organic or even real for that fact.

There was no horizon. If you ever got to see that far.

The air was thick and heavy, it pressed down against you, fought against you for every step. There was a constant shadowy presence that stalked you, surrounding you in a blinding black fog or suddenly clearing to reveal a bright blood red sun hanging low in the void.

The ground would morph as time went on as well.

It was like a long straight thunder-path with frigid or boiling rock, and other times it would be like a sticky marsh that tried to take you under.

As Hadiya led me on, I took note of every terrain and atmosphere we came across, expanding my senses to look for signs of normality…then again this situation wasn't normal to begin with.

The black fog was closing in again, putting tremendous pressure on my spine. I grimaced as I fought my way up a sand blasted slope, the salty grains cutting into my pads.

"Someone waits for you here," Hadiya meowed, her crimson eyes cast over the rise and into a large field of molten fire.

I struggled up beside her, fear clenching my gut as I stared at the sand blasted rocky ground with cracks and fissures running in jagged shapes along the surface; each break filled and bubbling with an orange blaze.

"This is a horrible place to wait for me…," was all I could mumble as I stared at the death pit.

Then, I saw who Hadiya was talking about, and my fear was promptly replaced with a fierce desire to protect.

It was a young kit, maybe no more than four moons old. It sat in the dead center of the cross-fire, looking unaffected by the intense heat around it. The black fog circled around the lava plain, looking for a less bright path to work its way in.

The kit was trapped and surrounded by enemies.

I swung my head in Hadiya's direction, looking for any sign that she was going to go help the kit.

"Hadiya…Hadiya we can't just let the poor kit sit there!" I urged the strange being, tempted to whack her upside the head but too intimidated to bring her wrath upon me.

Hadiya turned to look at me, her gaze speculative and calculating. "You are right, we can't."

…_is she serious?_

Growling I turned away from her and bounded quickly down the sandy slope, skidding to a halt at the first fissure that spewed out a jet of molten lava. Frozen in terror, I watched the stream of super-heated liquid rise up into the air and fall back toward the ground, its contents headed straight toward me.

Gasping I rolled, hissing as a small drop singed my shoulder blade.

Another geyser went off, forcing me to roll again and scramble to my paws to leap out of its path; barely missing a chunk of rock hitting my skull.

The young kit still sat silently in the middle of this chaos, its eyes vacant and void of feeling.

I snarled in pain and frustration as a small jet of steam blasted me in the face, causing me to lose some ground as I stumbled backwards and nearly fell into a gaping bubbling pool.

"Hold on! I'm coming, stay where you are!" I called above the rumbling of the ground quaking beneath my legs.

The kit did not respond.

A wide crack in the ground now separated me from my goal, its depth seemingly endless, lava pouring out of cracks along the sides and tumbling into the dark ditch.

"Spottedmoon, I would not advise-"

"Shut your mouth!" I snarled. She didn't seem to want to help in the first place…

I backed up a few paces, ignoring the blistering heat singing my fur and the steam blinding my eye sight…and then I ran for it.

I felt my front paws coming off the ground, my rear paws pushing off the partly melted stone to fling me into the air over the chasm. I held my breath as I sailed over, yet it was quickly exhaled as I slammed into the other wall, my front paws just grasping the rim of the other side. I had miscalculated the distance for which I had to jump. I panted, gritting my teeth as I hauled my chest up and onto solid ground, my hind legs still churning in empty space, coming face to face with the kit for the first time.

The kit looked at me as if I wasn't even there. Her frosty, stark silver eyes looked straight through me; glazed over with a shiny film as if she was blind or simply sick with a high fever. The kit's fur was as pale as the moon with fluffy black midnight spots dusting her coat…

_It's me…_

As the realization hit me, the shiny film over her eyes blinked out, her irises becoming animated and bright as the younger version of me stood and walked up to my dangling form.

She looked down at me with a wry smile, her young eyes narrowing into slits.

She placed a small pink paw on my nose, and spoke.

"Let go."

And then she pushed me.

I fell, watching as my younger self grew smaller and smaller on the fiery cliff.

"_MAMA!" She screeched; sweat tangling her soft kitten fur as she woke from a horrifying nightmare. _

"_What?" The mother replied with boredom, pushing the perspiring kit away from her belly._

"_I-I had another nightmare…I was in this fire…there was liquid fire everywhere! Mama, it was so scary, and it felt so real!" She cried, trembling in the moss nest they shared._

_The mother sighed, rolling her eyes. "Oh, it's just another one of your silly dreams. Honestly, you need to grow up. It's not real, none of it is. Now go back to sleep."_

_The kit looked up at her mother, her eyes as big and luminous as the moon, their silvery depths glistening with fright and sorrow. "But, mama, please-"_

"_I said go back to sleep you ungrateful scrap! And stop calling me mama, your real mother is not here. If you want to go cry, go do it to someone else. Just because I offered to nurse you doesn't mean I'll do anything more than that!" The mother growled with a cold and harsh finality, turning her back on the traumatized kit and tucking her nose into her thick tail._

_The kit sat and watched as her adopted mother turned away from her, leaving her alone in the dark with the memories of a fiery pit of pain and despair, digging her tiny fangs into her lips to hold back the cries that yearned for comfort._

I awoke on a grassy hill, the sound of water trickling through rock making my body jerk upwards, my head spinning with a sudden blood-rush.

Hadiya sat before me, her bloody eyes for once kind and gentle. In front of her was a plump white rabbit, blood leaking out of its neck; a clean kill.

I didn't hesitate as I lunged forward and began devouring the meal, not noticing that I couldn't actually taste it, just only feel its juicy texture on my tongue.

"Your kit-hood was starved of compassion and understanding. This made you become a recluse, preferring to stay away from others who might have done you harm. The scene that you saw…it was after a nightmare about the place we just were, wasn't it?" She murmured.

I finished eating, slowly licking my lips and savoring the feeling of having a full belly, even though I wasn't hungry to begin with. "Yes. The lava field was a re-occurring nightmare of mine during my kit-hood. I still had them as an apprentice, but I learned to control my actions when I woke up…everyone forgot about them besides me," I admitted, fear and shock beginning to register as I thought back to my fall into the chasm of lava.

"How…how did I-"

"You cannot die in purgatory…in a sense. If you do die you are brought back. This is why purgatory is deemed as the worst possible plane out of the four. You cannot escape without finding the pieces of your soul first, which in itself is difficult and nearly impossible," Hadiya explained, her paw dabbing at the bright green fronds of the grasses absently as she spoke.

I sighed, "Great. So, about that kit…was she-I mean me, the younger version of me, was that…"

"A facet of your soul? Yes."

"Which one?"

"Some would say this one is just an extension of pre-destiny, but I have seen that unlike pre-destiny, you can pick and choose which path you take this despite what other's try to mold you into. This was innocence, pure and un-soiled. The part of innocence that many don't see or recognize because they fully believe that innocence can only be lost at a certain stage in your life. Unfortunately, the innocence in your soul was lost in a fire that consumed it, and turned it to ash at the most innocent time in your life. Many do not experience such retched darkness until they are much older and have seen more of the world to encounter it."

I cringed, old memories of past hurts coming back to muddle my already exhausted mind.

"I feel…tired," I mumbled, realizing that my legs were wobbling and my pelt smelled like smoke.

Hadiya nodded. "Your bravery and selfishness proved that this part of your soul, despite its dark and lonely tones, is worth fighting for. You have taken it back, and now it is re-melding with your essence."

An immense joy filled me then; strength and clarity chased out the muddled mess in my head and made it so that I could feel the presence of the small kit within me, its eyes as round and luminous as the moon, the shadow of my parents watching over me.

I stood and faced Hadiya, determination filling every bone in my body.

"I'm ready for the next battle."

* * *

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this new update of DSOTM.

Thank you for reading! If you leave a review, it is much appreciated, and you will receive a kitten for Christmas.


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